Are you sitting on the fence of sobriety

Do you find yourself hovering, half certain you want to stop drinking, half telling yourself you’ll think about it tomorrow? That “on the fence” place is more common than people think. If you’re there, I want to offer something practical: a handful of small steps you can take that will give you clearer information about what life might be like without alcohol.

Start with curiosity, not judgment. Ask yourself, “What do I want to learn?” Small experiments are less scary than big decisions. They give you data, a real sense of how you sleep, how your energy feels, how evenings play out and that’s the best way to test the waters.

Try a short, purposeful break, such as 30 days and treat it like an experiment. Thirty days is long enough to start seeing real, tangible benefits but short enough to feel manageable. Put a clear start and end date in your calendar. Tell one person you trust you’re trying it (this increases the chance you’ll stick with it). Notice how your mornings change, how your mood shifts, how your routines feel different. Small windows feel doable, and they usually give surprisingly helpful answers.

Make it practical: plan your evenings. Much of drinking is ritual, the habit that fills time when your day slows down. Replace the ritual, don’t banish it. Pick one new evening habit to try for the length of your break: a short walk after tea, a chapter of a book, a warm drink, a 10-minute stretch, or a 20-minute tidy. Keep it simple. You’re not trying to create a perfect new life, just a tiny, repeatable alternative to the glass.

Notice the changes in plain language. Keep a short notebook or a note on your phone. Each morning for your experiment, write three lines: how you slept, one thing you felt different about, and one practical win (even tiny). That simple record turns vague impressions into facts. People are often surprised by patterns, better sleep, fewer worries about small things, and a new clarity at work. Seeing it on the page helps you make a clear choice later.

Plan for the tricky bits. Anticipate the moments that usually lead to drinking: an awkward work evening, a meal out, a stressful call. Have a plan for each. An “if-then” note works well: If I feel like drinking after a hard day, then I’ll go for a 15-minute walk; if I’m offered a drink at a party, then I’ll ask for an alcohol free version. Tiny scripts and exit plans make social situations feel less like a minefield.

Ask for company. You don’t have to go it alone. Connection matters. Tell a friend, join a sober group online, or come to a local walk (if that’s your thing). Saying it out loud, even to one person, lifts some of the pressure you’re keeping inside your head. It’s also how you learn practical tips from people who’ve been where you are.

Keep the questions simple and useful. When you reflect, avoid huge existential questions and try these instead: What felt easier this week? What surprised me? What felt harder than I expected? What’s one small thing I’d change for next week? These are useful prompts because they focus on experience, not on judgment.

Use curiosity to test your reasons. People often tell themselves they drink for relaxation, to be social, to cope. Try to test each reason. Is drinking the only way to relax? Do you really need alcohol to have a good time? Testing helps you decide whether the reasons to keep drinking are stronger than the reasons to try something different.

Be kind to yourself during the whole process. Progress is rarely linear. If you fall back into old habits during your experiment, treat that as data, not failure. What triggered you? What will you try next time? Keep the tone curious and firm, not shaming.

If you’re on the fence, treat this as an invitation to learn rather than a verdict on your willpower. Try one small experiment, keep a brief note of what you notice, and ask yourself, at the end, what the facts are telling you. The clearer the picture, the easier the next decision becomes.

You don’t have to decide everything today. Try one tiny step and see what opens up.