Letting go of alcohol. Grieving is real.

There are five stages of grief:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

We usually hear these in the context of bereavement. So what’s this got to do with alcohol?

Quite a bit, actually. When you stop drinking, you’re not only changing a habit. You’re letting go of what alcohol represented and of the identity you built around it.

It's how you celebrated, commiserated and socialised.

It was your reward after a hard day.

It was an escape, a way to relax.

Removing that from your life can stir up the same emotions we recognise in grief.

Denial:

"I don't need to quit, I just need to cut down a bit"

It sounds reasonable. You probably don't drink as much as your work colleague or that guy down the pub. You have a successful career, and alcohol has never caused you to miss a day or cause an accident. So you can't possibly have an issue with alcohol, surely? Plus, 'everyone drinks, and my grandmother had a whisky every day and lived to 92.' You can tell yourself all these things, but you know deep down that something has to change.

Anger:

"Why can everyone else drink and be OK?"

It can feel unfair. Anger is a normal response to losing something you thought you needed. But accepting your situation and not comparing yourself to others can really set you free.

Bargaining:

"What if I only drink at weekends?"

Welcome to rule-making. The idea of never drinking again can be so difficult that we 'just want to drink normally.' So we try to moderate our drinking, but often, it just doesn't work. We feel we're denying ourselves and eventually slip back into our old drinking patterns.

Depression:

"I don't know what to do with all these feelings"

When you stop drinking, you stop numbing and covering up your feelings. It can feel uncomfortable. This is normal, and it's not permanent. You are finally giving yourself a chance to overcome them, rather than continually brushing them under the carpet.

Acceptance:

"I don't miss drinking, I miss what I thought it gave me"

This is when it becomes clearer. You start to see alcohol as it really was, not the beliefs you've held and that have been peddled by society and advertising. You begin to build what alcohol promised but never delivered: real rest, real connection, real confidence.

These stages aren’t tests that you have to pass. They’re a map. Expect them, let them come, acknowledge them, then let them pass and keep going.

Understandably, it can feel sad saying goodbye to what was such a large part of your life, but the future is clear, and when you look back on your drinking days, yes, there will be some fun times, but you won't regret the positive change that removing alcohol from your life has had.