Maybe I can just have one now

The lie we start to believe....

When you've been alcohol-free for a while, something strange can start to happen. Out of nowhere, a little voice creeps in... “Maybe I could just have one.” “Maybe I’m past all that now.” “I’m in a better place. I could probably just drink occasionally.”

It feels innocent, even rational. But it's not. It's a trick and it's one most of us will fall for if we’re not aware of something called Fading Affect Bias.

So, what is Fading Affect Bias?

The definition is: A psychological phenomenon where the emotional intensity of negative memories fades faster than the emotional intensity of positive ones. Basically, your brain starts to forget the bad stuff quicker than the good.

So, over time, that awful hangover you had, the one where you were sick, anxious, couldn't eat, and hated yourself? That fades, but the memory of sipping prosecco at a friend’s wedding, laughing with your glass in hand? That sticks. That gets polished. That gets romanticised.

This isn’t your fault. It’s how the brain works. It rewrites the past to make it feel more pleasant. It glosses over the consequences and holds on tight to the glow.

When you’ve had a stretch of sober time, you’re likely feeling clearer, more stable, less anxious. Life feels calmer. You’re proud of how far you’ve come but that’s when the danger creeps in.

You start remembering the good bits of drinking, the dancing, the laughter, the “connection.” You don’t remember the shame, the emotional whiplash, the text you regretted sending at 2 a.m., the pit in your stomach the next day.

Your brain softens all that. And so, the idea of “just one” starts to sound appealing again. Logical, even. Like it wouldn’t be a big deal.

But let’s be honest here: If you were someone who could have “just one,” you wouldn’t be reading this. You wouldn’t have needed to stop in the first place.

That voice that tells you it’ll be different this time is the same voice that used to say, “Just one more.”It’s the same logic that led to four glasses instead of one, late nights, cancelled plans, anxiety and hangovers.

So what do we do about it? You bring awareness to it. You catch the Fading Affect Bias in action. You remind yourself, "I’m not missing out, I’m remembering selectively".

When the glossy memories come in, you balance the picture. You remember the full truth. You ask yourself: What did alcohol really give me? And what did it take away?

And you look at what sobriety has actually brought into your life, things that stick, like waking up with a clear head, like being able to manage stressful situations, feeling calm and in control, showing up for yourself and being available for others consistently.

If you're finding yourself nostalgic about drinking, you're not broken. You're human. But let the thought pass. Don’t act on it. Let it be what it is, just a thought. Because you’ve come too far to fall for a memory that’s only telling half the story.

You don’t need to go back to drinking to prove that you’ve grown. Sometimes, real growth is knowing exactly where that path leads… and choosing not to go there again.