Dealing With Other People After You've Quit Drinking

One of the trickiest parts of quitting alcohol isn’t the not drinking, it’s dealing with other people’s reactions to your decision.

You’ll probably hear things like:

“You can have one, surely?”

"Come on, have a drink, don't be boring!"

“Wait… are you an alcoholic?”

“Did you have a drinking problem?”

“But what will you drink?”

“That’s so boring.”

“You’re no fun anymore.”

“I could never give up.”

It’s wild, isn’t it? Alcohol is the only drug people feel offended or confused when you say you don’t want it. You don’t get these kinds of comments when you quit smoking, in fact, when someone stops smoking, it’s almost always “Well done!” or “Good for you!” because society understands the harm of cigarettes. But with alcohol? We’re not there yet.

That’s because we’ve been conditioned to believe alcohol holds a special, even essential, place in our lives. That it’s tied to fun, celebration, relaxation, and even identity. So when someone steps away from it, it challenges the norm. And people often don’t know how to react.

But this is YOUR journey. Not theirs. You don’t have to justify it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. It's no one's business what you put in your glass. No one cares if you have chips or mash with your dinner, so why do they care if you have Soda and Lime instead of wine? "No" is a complete answer!!

That said, in the real world, people can make it difficult for you: If you say, “I’m driving,” someone will offer to get you a cab.

If you say, “I’m on antibiotics,” they’ll tell you it’s fine to drink on them.

If you say, “Just for tonight,” they’ll say, “It’s only one!”

So a little strategy can help. If you’re not ready to share your full story (or just don’t want to), then the easiest way is to point out the positives of not drinking or the negatives of drinking. So for example:

"Drinking makes me anxious"

"Drinking makes my menopause symptoms really bad"

“I’ve not been feeling great and not drinking helps.”

“I just feel so much better when I don’t drink.”

It would surely take a hard-hearted person to try to make you drink if they know that it will make you anxious or unwell.

Most people, however, mean well, most of the time, but they’re reacting from their beliefs and conditioning. The more comfortable you are with your decision, the less space their discomfort takes up.

Be proud. Be firm.

You’re not boring, you’re brave.

You’re not 'no fun', you’re free.

You're not missing out, you’re showing up fully.

And that’s powerful.