The early days

Dealing with change

When I first quit alcohol fully, there was some sense of relief. I didn't have to try to moderate anymore. I didn't have to think about allowing myself 'one glass' or a 'mini bottle'. It just wasn't a thing anymore. It was one less thing to concern myself with and with a busy work life, I was glad to close a door on that and where one door closes...well you know the saying.

The first week can be a strange mix of relief and enthusiasm mixed with trepidation and grief. Yes, grief. You might find yourself feeling a loss and a fear of what you will do now. If you were like me, alcohol had played such a big part in my life, that not only did I wonder what I would do without it, I wondered who I would be without it. I also feared what my trusted drinking friends would think. After all, I didn't want them to feel awkward.

That first night, I couldn't get to sleep, I found this before when I was doing Dry January. For the first week, I suddenly realised that I couldn't get to sleep as easy as I used to. People say that you sleep better when you stop drinking so it all felt like a lie and I was tired.

If you find you can't sleep, then don't worry, it's perfectly normal. Alcohol might send you off quite quickly but it affects the rest of your sleep, the bit you don't really know about. Lacking deep sleep is bad for your long-term health. So don't let this 'getting to sleep' blip stop you. Ride it out and I promise within a week or so you'll be dropping off quickly, getting a better night's sleep than ever before.

Of course, you can't expect not to think about alcohol when you first quit.

You probably, like me, had a drinking routine of sorts. For me, that was when I finished work. I work mostly from home and when 5.30 pm came, I would pour myself a glass of wine as my 'reward' for a hard day. Sometimes, I hadn't even finished work but as long as it was after 5.30 pm then it would be my way of dealing with having to work late.

It helped me relax while I was speaking on the phone to my mum. Since my dad passed away last year, we spoke every day. She would chatter on and I would drink.

Or I would enjoy it whilst I was cooking my evening meal and then of course whilst I was eating my meal. At the weekend, I would often find a reason to start drinking earlier. Maybe I was gardening, so a glass of wine was nice whilst i was deadheading, or having some lunch. It was the weekend, after all, I could do what I liked.

At the weekend, I used to like to swing by my local pub after a dog walk, have a glass of wine and chat with other locals. Now when I walked past the pub there wasn't any draw to go in. I felt unsociable.

You will have a different alcohol-routine no doubt, but all these points of the day would be a challenge. Some are bigger than others. How did I get around them? I thought ahead and considered the situation. Can I replace that wine with something else or should I try just going without?

Some things didn't deserve a replacement. I would realise that I could just do those things without a drink. Such as deadheading in the garden and cooking dinner. Carrying a glass of wine around the garden with me whilst using secateurs was actually inconvenient so it was easier without. And I wasn't Keith Floyd, cooking isn't thirsty work.

Some things such as speaking to my mother, I would make a tea or just have a glass of water. It was better to be present when talking to my mum, rather than slipping into tipsyness. It was better for both of us.

When it came to working late, I decided that most days I could leave any outstanding work til the morning. I didn't mind working late whilst I was drinking, but I decided my own time was more precious. Then if I really had to work late, well I would just get on with it. No wine required and I'd actually get it done quicker.

The hardest part was the rest of the evening. So I decided to do something I've never really done in the evening, I signed up for Pilates classes. I thought that just getting out of the house for an hour or so would get me over that hump and would be good for me too. I've been into exercise in the past but I have never exercised in the evening. It was always my time to relax. So it was new territory for me, but I found it really helped. Pilates was good for my mind as well as my body and by the time I got home, I only really had time for a herbal tea and a bit of TV before bedtime. I was rested, and felt good about myself for doing something.

You might find your own ways to deal with those routine drink moments, but if you are mindful of when those times are, and you make plans to deal with them beforehand, it will be much easier for you.