You Are Not Your Thoughts

If you’ve ever found yourself spiralling in self-doubt, shame, or fear while on your journey to sobriety, let me offer you this simple but powerful reminder: "You are not your thoughts".

We all have a constant stream of thoughts running through our minds, some encouraging, some neutral, and yes, some completely negative. When we’re in the thick of changing our relationship with alcohol, those thoughts can get really loud. They might tell us we’re failing. That we’ll never change. That we’re not strong enough, or even not worthy enough.

Try to remember this: thoughts are not facts.

They’re just stories your brain is telling us, often shaped by years of patterns, pain, and past experiences. That inner critic is not the voice of truth. It’s the echo of old coping mechanisms, fear of the unknown, or the residue of shame we’ve carried for far too long.

In early sobriety (and honestly, even years in), your mind might try to convince you that you’re not cut out for this. That everyone else has it figured out except you. That one drink won’t hurt. That you’re boring now. That you’re broken.

But you can 'take your thoughts to court'. Pause for a second, breathe and recognise that these are just thoughts, not your identity.

You are not your urges.

You are not your cravings. You are not your relapses. You are not your past.

You are the observer of your thoughts. You have the power to notice them, question them, and choose a different response.

One of the greatest gifts of sobriety is learning to sit with our thoughts without immediately reacting. Meditation, journaling, or simply pausing to ask, “Is this thought helpful? Is it true?” can be incredibly enlightening.

Instead of fighting every thought, try this:

Acknowledge it.

Thank it.

Let it pass.

Like clouds in the sky or waves on the shore, thoughts come and go. You don’t need to grab onto each one.

You are your values. Your courage. Your willingness to try again. Your tiny wins that no one else sees. You are the person choosing to live fully, bravely, and sober, even when it’s hard.

So the next time a negative thought pops up (and it will), gently remind yourself: “This thought is not who I am. I am so much more.”